What's all this about?
idiotic magnets are stupid
Why are you doing this?
We believe that there is strong possibility that the troops in Iraq and
Afghanistan might be a little far away or maybe even a little too busy
to be checking out the pseudopatriotic magnet on the back of a 1986 Geo
Metro as it drives down I-95 or sits in an Olive Garden parking lot.
Why do you hate America?
We don't hate America, we hate that people think slapping a stupid magnet
on the back of their car has meaning. Mostly everyone in this country
supports the troops and hopes they will return safely. Maybe you should be
telling them directly in person, on the phone or in a letter and not
driving around with a big magnetic banner you probably got at Wal*Mart
that simply attempts to prove to
everybody but the troops that you support the troops more than everybody
Hey, what about the pink breast cancer ribbon, though? What are you
PRO-CANCER or something you black-hearted JERK?
Oh, we're sure they're useful.
For example, say you're stuck in traffic on the Williamsburg bridge in your 2003 Chevy Suburban, and another guy, who is a breast
cancer researcher, is stuck behind you
talking to his wife on his cell phone. He tells her that he has just dropped the kids off at violin practice, he took the garbage out before he left -- he even unplugged
coffee maker, but he just can't shake this strange nagging feeling that he has forgotten to do something. Just as those words come out of his mouth, he glances
up and sees your pink magnetic breast cancer ribbon that has "Find a Cure" written across it, at which point he comically slaps his forehead and exclaims:
YEAH! THAT'S WHAT I FORGOT TO DO!!! YOU KNOW,
FUCKING CURE CANCER! HAHA, I
TOTALLY FUCKING FORGOT THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO THAT."
Hey, I'm the Chinese guy selling this magnet crap -- WHAT ABOUT ME, DAMN YOU!?
Sorry Chinese guy, it's nothing personal. China's still cool.
Okay, how about some discount herbal v1agra?
LA LA LA -- I can't hear you Chinese Guy.
Why do the bottom two bumper stickers cost more?
Not only do we provide you the materials to propagate your own backlash
against our backlash, we provide you the materials to propagate your own
backlash against our backlash against our backlash -- AND YOU COMPLAIN
I've got a funny picture of somebody's car where they have combined
"the magnet" with other items of embarassing political or social
sentiment -- what should I do?
E-mail it to email@example.com
and we may post it in a gallery! Make sure it's funny, though.